“In a black hole, and I’m spinning
As my wings get shot away” – Back in the Village – Iron Maiden
Surviving Epynt
Dixies, Deers Leap, German Village, Fourways Bridge, Burma Road, “Steps”, Cilieni Track; all classic phrases that invoke images of high speed driving and breath-taking crashes to rally enthusiasts.
They make up part of the Epynt Sennybridge military training ranges in South Wales.
Been one of the largest military training zones in the UK it has highly restricted public access owing to the frequent use of live ammunition and explosives. It is this restrictions and rare opportunity to drive on the closed roads that make it one of the most famous, and challenging tarmac rally stages in the UK.
The KRU Rally team were taking on Epynt for the first time on the Harry Flatters Rally as the next round of the Swift Rally Series organised by Peter Gwynne Motorsport.
A very long, tedious and slow drive down from our Yorkshire base on Friday evening meant a very late arrival at the team base in Llandovery.
Next morning dawned wet, misty and grey as Jon and Gary drove up to recce the 5 stages to be used the following day. We immediately realised the task ahead. Lurid tales of the offs and rolls that had befallen previous rally crews rang in our ears from fellow motor club members and we soon saw why. Four passes of the Burma Road and we were still making corrections to our notes, each bend seemed to merge into the next and trying to make sense of it at speed seemed impossible. Add to that the hidden rocks, cowering behind tall bracken and waving weeds just off the tarmac, a slight indiscretion off line could result in a serious impact.
Many additions to our pace notes and several hours of trying to memorise the sequence of bends on the stages lead us to scrutineering at the Auction Mart outside Brecon.
The usual long queues were made slightly more bearable by the rare hot and sunny weather conditions.
As is always the case, a top 5 car breezed through the scrutineers while the rest of us were getting the full treatment. With the typical back-slapping, handshaking, grinning familiarity from the scrutineers to the mechanic presenting the car (why rarely any of the crew ???) they breeze through in a matter of minutes with the most cursory of glances under the bonnet and in the cockpit.
Conversely the lower numbers as ever were subject to sustained disdain and examination, accompanied by glum headshaking and “I’m not very happy with this” from the scrutineers. In our case the diameter of the washer on one of our seat mounts was considered almost a fail (not previously mentioned by any of the previous 8 rally scrutineers who found other insignificant reasons to lecture us on; i.e. the angle of the seat belt mount under the seat). Come on folks, I know our cars are older and don’t have the luxury of a full rebuild between events but those £100k fire-breathing rockets are doing double our speeds and will likely have much bigger impacts during an off than the bottom third of the rally.
Why not show some of the same prolonged scrutiny occasionally, not least to show some parity for us back-enders suffering the washer measuring humiliation, as their mechanics glide condescendingly out of the tent after their momentary inconvenient box-ticking exercise. No wonder rally entries from the budget challenged clubman continue to dwindle…
With our hard earned ‘passed scrutineering’ sticker proudly in place (placed carefully by the scrutineer as we could not be trusted to put it in the right place on the roll bar..) we arrived at the quarry service area in Epynt the next morning with not little trepidation. The forecast was showers followed by sunny periods followed by showers and we only had one type of Yokohama tarmac tyres; they would have to be good in the wet and dry !
Stage 1 was a 14 mile effort West to East across the ranges. It was damp and slippy and it took us some time to gauge the bends and cambers on our first run at speed through the military roads. Jon took it steady and we had a clear, composed run, though we felt too pedestrian across the Cilieni road despite been slowed as we overtook the mark 1 Escort running ahead of us.
Back at service and little to do but fill the car and worry about our mpg which seemed much higher than usual.
Stage 2 was a repeat of 1 and once again we gave much respect to the tracks, they were very fast over the open moorland on the Army roads with hidden jumps and sudden corners over crests to persuade Jon to be cautious on the unseen crests. It was here that we got our first scare of the day. Two devil-may-care sheep decided to chance beating the Swift in a straight race. Us on the tarmac at about 90 mph, them running headlong at 90 degrees to us. The Mintex pads worked well and Jon held the car as it twitched wildly under braking as the sheep victoriously disappeared into the undergrowth.
At service we again realised we were running very high petrol consumption so big thanks to Peter Gwynne Motorsport for the loan of their super plus petrol supplies.
Photo: 90right UK Rallying
Stages 3 and 4 were reverse of the mornings stages. As we started stage 3 the shower after the sunny period arrived. It chucked down. The German village is a small mock-village built to simulate a German town as that was where the military elite expected action against the Soviets during the cold war.
It lies on a hillside east of the Cilieni track and also acts as a storage, parking area for military vehicles. Military vehicles that leak oil and other slithering stuff.
Blend that slick tarmac topping with a sideways Welsh summer downpour and it’s an interesting combination for the average tyre compound to address.
This way round the first cattle grid to the village is up a hill but the stage then turns abruptly 90 left. Jon was trying now as the notes and familiarity with the layout of the ranges started to make sense. We usually run well in the wet and we saw this as a chance to regain some time lost during our morning treading-carefully exploratory debut on Epynt.
Windscreen wipers wildly flailing, we approached the cattle grid at speed. Braking for the succeeding left-hander the car suddenly lost all grip on the oily surface and the back end stepped briskly to the left. Jon re-corrected, which put the Swift at right angles through the grid. Gliding then jolting over the iron slats sideways was thought-provoking. With no grip, and merely passengers, Jon took advantage of the car pointing the right way into the left hander and with a flick of over steer we powered through the bend. It would have looked impressive from the outside but alas the village is out of bounds to spectators or press so we don’t think any photos exist.
A mile further and silly sheep incident number two slowed us again as a group nonchalantly wandered into our path, oblivious to the conditions and Jon’s Anglo-Saxon expletive-laden opinion on their IQ.
Gary queried the finish time as the Marshalls gave us a minute slower than he had recorded, one for appeal at the end of the event as the tope crews were already on the start line.
Back at service and Dave and Pete worked in the pouring rain, dripping onto their faces and soaking their overalls as Jon asked for new tyres on the front of the Swift. We tried to convince ourselves that they would have much more grip, especially up in the Black Forest fake town with its dicey surface.
By the time we started stage 4 the sun had re-appeared, though our service crew reported hailstones only 2 miles away !
We were getting quicker and more confident now with Jon throwing the car through the hairpins and keeping the acceleration in over the blind crests as Gary trusted his notes and amendments more.
End of Stage 4 and another minute disparity of the time given. This time the Marshalls agreed the times may be vague as they had already summonsed the Chief Timekeeper who was present due to the complaints from other crews. (Despite comment from Gary at the finish the times given stood, though we are convinced we were at least a minute faster than credited on each run).
Stage 5 was a single 12 mile run through the Fourways bridge and back up to the finish near Dixies bends. Our ruminant friends saved their best until last. On full throttle on a very fast straight, 3 of them in the fenced paddock off to our right unexpectedly ran at the fence like woolly Usain Bolts. In a seamless movement they vaulted the fence and with one hop landed directly in our path. It took all Jon’s abilities for him to swerve and avoid the slightly lagging last of the four-legged chicane.
More time lost to the unpredictable Epynt livestock, though we fared better than the top ten driver who struck a hapless sheep head on. The Subaru retired on the spot.
At the finish we were elated to have endured Epynt with few scares, though admittedly not the quickest we had been respectful to the classic roads that took some victims that day, not a pretty sight. We celebrated into the night in Llandovery (which was until about 10.30 pm as everything closes on a Sunday).
Memorable quotes:
Jon after sliding completely sideways between the gates of a very greasy cattle grid in the German Village complex: “Show that as ‘SLIPPY’ on the notes Gary”
Gary: “I’ll show it as ‘SLOWER’..”
Dave making the team gather round and solemnly pointing to a bit of quarry about 20 metres away from our service spot: “That’s where the mandatory refuel zone is”
Team: OK
Dave: “But we’ll do ours here”
Pete: “Do you want a Tuna sandwich for lunch” ?
Gary: ”Is there anything else”?
Pete: “Well I was going to do Ham salad”
Gary: “Yeah I’ll have that then”
Pete: “But I didn’t”.
Gary on cautioning Jon on the lack of grip : “I’m just watching the weather”.
Jon driving very quickly over the rain sodden lanes: “Yeah so am I”
Gary: “I’ll watch the weather, you watch the ****ing road”.